My Own Private Oscar: A Few Defining Moments

It's exactly twenty-four hours before our own Oscar extravaganza begins for the 80th Annual Academy Awards, and I'm feeling a bit nostalgic. Perhaps that's why I consider our little party of twelve an "extravaganza." Anyway, in no particular order, here are the moments that have stayed with me for the last twenty years or so.

#1: Diana Ross and Lionel Richie: 54th Academy Awards.
They performed "Endless Love" and even though that movie was gruesome, and the song is a bit treacly, you could feel the love. That was the spring of 1982 and I was watching the awards with a bunch of theatre students at the small town Catholic College of St. Benedict in St. Joseph, Minnesota. I was finishing my freshman year and the previous fall had met these guys during a production of Marat/Sade (much longer real title: you don't need to know it). We were all siting around, hollering at the television, and most of the crowd really started yelling when Diana and Lionel were singing their duet. Except for me and Steven R., a local Waite Park boy who I now realize was a dead ringer for Ashton Kutcher. We laughed a little at the ridicule, but then we told everyone to shut up, and watched Diana and Lionel give it up like they were the lovesick teenagers. I can still see them when I hear it on the radio. As for Steve/Ashton, he got a girl pregnant and didn't come back to St. Ben's.

#2: Bernardo Bertolucci: 60th Academy Awards.
For about six years I worked as a midwife with an overwhelmingly Latina (mostly Mexican-American) population on the West side of St. Paul, and I married an Indian immigrant about a year ago. So it's hard to explain the anti-immigrant tone of my screaming "Go back to your own goddamned country and make movies!" as Bernardo Bertolucci strolled to the podium to collect his Oscar for The Last Emperor. I hadn't even seen the movie. I'm not even sure who it was that I wanted to win, but apparently it wasn't him. Years later my husband told me how much he liked that movie, and I finally watched it with him. To say we both found it a little slow is an understatement. My husband finally confessed that it was the breastfeeding scene that had been the draw.

#3: John Irving: 72nd Academy Awards.
This night was fun. We were at my friend's house with about twenty-five people, all who had filled out ballots and loved talking back to the television. You could barely hear the telecast what with the smart ass comments and hooting and hollering. Near the end of the evening, though, John Irving gave a beautiful speech as he accepted his award for Best Adapted Screenplay from his own novel, The Cider House Rules. It was all about his grandfather (who performed abortions) and choice and women and I don't think I've ever been more proud. I just caught The Cider House Rules on television yesterday and was surprised to see how much I still liked it, how deftly the issue of abortion was presented when today it's become so blown out of proportion and at the same time, simply ignored. I've never been that big of a fan of Irving's, but he's still a kind of hero to me, even now.

#4: Jennifer Lopez: 73rd Academy Awards.
I have never seen such a dress on such a woman as the Chanel couture gray gown that Jennifer Lopez wore that night. It was a one-shoulder affair, with a very nearly sheer top close to her body, and a fuller, shiny silver taffeta floor length skirt on the bottom. On the red carpet, you caught a glimpse of her and turned to your viewing companion and said, "Are those her nipples?" During the ceremony, Ms. Lopez was a presenter and while the first few rows may have been enchanted by her breasts, the millions of the rest of us were at home, having to settle for a camera shot that stopped just below her collarbone. God, she looked beautiful! Truly like a goddess. Granted, her acting is limited (the best thing she's ever done is Out of Sight) and I'm completely unfamiliar with her music, but she is one gorgeous woman who looks marvelous nearly all of the time, and like she was born for it.

So tonight during the 80th annual Academy Awards, let's see if there are any moments worth remembering. If not, I'll be surrounded by my friends and lots of paella, red wine and flan.