This Week in Baseball 6/12/08

Well, the last place New York Yankees (okay, they're tied for third/last with Toronto and Baltimore) are in Oakland for a three game series this week.  Let's start with the moustaches, shall we?  Jason Giambi has been sporting his for at least a week, and he couldn't look more like a seventies porn star if he tried.  Every time he's in the batter's box, I have to look away.  Last night their reliever, Russ Ohlendorf, also had the same gruesome caterpillar on his lip, and I'm sure it frightened the A's lineup as much as it did me.  How these atrocities are being tolerated by the clean-shaven protocol of the Yankees, I do not know.  Remember when the Yankees acquired lovable mop-topped Red Sox Johnny Damon?  The burning question was:  is he going to cut his hair?  And, more importantly, is he still going to look hot?  Sadly, the answer is no:  for a man who wore the Jesus look really well, once that hair was cut, you realized his good looks were in his long locks.  Poor Damon:  he just looks unremarkable now, like nobody.  He's no longer the cute guy with the dimples and great hair and, according to some, spectacular ass.  I think his long hair actually enhanced his ass, though I can't really explain how that's possible.  At least he just cut his hair, and didn't opt for the neo-Nazi buzz cuts favored by Rodriguez, Jeter, and Joe Girardi.  Yikes.  We know the Yankees are professional killers:  do they have to look like it, too?  The only look missing in the Yankees dugout is what is referred to as 'date-rapist' hair:  slicked back, eighties style, with stiff, crunchy hair gel.



Well, on to the games.  Chien-Ming Wang pitched the first game against Dana Eveland.  The A's had plenty of chances, and Eveland only gave up two runs, but the A's still lost 3-1.  Last night Yankees pitcher Darrell Rasner went up against Justin Duchscherer, who used to be a reliever for the A's and now is in the starting rotation.  Duchscherer baffled the Yankees through each of his seven innings, especially with his long, slow curve ball that tops out at about sixty-seven miles per hour.  The announcers said a few times that next to the curve ball, the fast ball looked a lot faster than eighty-four miles an hour.  And for once, the A's hitters came through and scored a bunch (eight, to be precise) of runs for Duchscherer.  He's now 5-0 at the Coliseum.  The A's got six runs off Rasner in the third, and the Yankees never really recovered but rallied in the ninth off of the A's relievers, especially Kiko Calero.  But the A's hung on, and won 8-4.



The Twins, on the other hand, finally won a game and broke their six game losing streak in Cleveland last night.  The first night C.C. Sabathia pitched a gem against the Twins, and they lost 1-0 to the Indians.  As much as I need to support my hometown boys, I do love the C.C.  I mean, I love that big man who loves to pitch complete games, whose presence is wonderfully palpable on the mound, who looks so serious all the time, but you know he's just like a big kid on the inside.  Last night Paul Byrd got hit around a little, and the Twins got their win.  The Twins continue to have fielding problems, or should I say more precisely, Delmon Young cannot seem to catch the ball.  I can't tell if he's just not very fast, or if he can't read the ball off the bat, but it feels like I'm watching him chase down fly balls every freakin' game.  I mean, Jason Kubel and his knees were better out there, for god's sake.



Both teams finish their series tonight, and even though Giambi probably hasn't shaved that moustache, and Delmon Young will miss at least one fly ball, I'll be watching.